Things Fall Together
by fennecfawkes
Summary: Chad/Ryan. Sometimes, there's a holdup. And it's not what, or who, you'd expect. Two notes. I don't own these two.
1. The Talk

Ryan Evans never thought he'd be the hold up.

It wasn't like he hadn't _done _anything before. He'd kissed guys, made out with them, done a little bit more with others. Bryan from drama club, Simon from the ski lodge, two of the five pool boys at Lava Springs—he'd never had a problem going however far any of them wanted to go. But, now that he thought of it, none of them had ever suggested sex. And neither had he.

Now, there was Chad Danforth, and things were different. Ryan loved everything about Chad, and for the most part, he wasn't afraid of expressing it. Even now, though, over a year into their relationship, he hadn't been able to say yes when Chad asked if he was ready to go all the way.

And it wasn't as though he didn't want to. He really, really did. But something stopped him every time, and he couldn't pinpoint what that could be. Thank God Chad hadn't called him out on it. He deserved to. And maybe if he did, Ryan thought, they could figure this thing out and get on with it. So after the last exam of his first semester of his second year at Julliard, Ryan went back to Albuquerque, looking for a confrontation with the boy he loved.

A confrontation wasn't, of course, what he initially got. That was all enthusiastic kisses in the safety of his bedroom when Chad came over the first night Ryan was back.

"I missed you," said Chad, pulling Ryan onto the bed with him.

"I missed you, too, Mr. Sentimental," Ryan said, smiling as Chad kissed his neck.

"What did you want today?" Chad sounded eager, and Ryan loved it, but what a question to ask.

"Other than this, you mean? Well, I could really go for a chili dog..."

"How 'bout mine?" Chad grinned devilishly. Now, that far, Ryan was willing to go. He had before. Multiple times, actually. And it was always great for both of them. But right now...

"Chad, does it ever bother you that we haven't ... done it?" asked Ryan.

Chad took a second before answering. "I don't know. I want to. But if you're not ready, then I can wait as long as you need to."

Ryan shook his head and laughed softly. "It shouldn't be so easy for you."

"Honestly? It's not." Chad pushed some stray hairs off Ryan's forehead and kissed him there. "I feel like a teenage guy, you know? I want you. I want all of you. And sometimes I feel like I deserve to have all of you."

"You do. That's the problem. _I'm _the problem." Ryan lay back on the bed and raked a hand through his hair. "Because I want to do it, too. Really, I do. Why wouldn't I? I'm just ... I'm scared. And I don't know why."

Chad lay back next to him and draped his leg across Ryan's. Ryan tried to ignore that feeling he always got when Chad started putting more than just his hands on him as Chad nearly whispered, "It's a big step, Ryan. It's OK to be scared of something you've never done. Something you've never really wanted to do. I mean, we all want sex. But I mean ... want it with someone..." He kissed Ryan, quickly and softly. "Someone you love."

Ryan caught the look in Chad's eye and knew that they could feel each other now.

"Since we love each other..." Ryan's voice was uncharacteristically small. He cleared his throat. "Can we make it, like, a thing? Like, an entire night, or even a whole day, just us, each other, just..." Ryan knew he was turning red, but he didn't care. "Making love?"

"Of course," said Chad. "I don't think we could do it any other way." Chad kissed him. It wasn't nearly as short this time, and Ryan knew they wouldn't be talking much longer. "Does this mean you're ready, then? Like, you want to do this?"

"I already told you, I've always wanted to. Just now that we've talked..." Ryan kissed Chad, slow and sweet, hardly breaking away at all to say, "I can." And what they had that night wasn't quite sex, but what they did have was so close that Ryan swore he could taste it.


	2. Like A Sister To Me

"Shar, have you ever had sex before?"

Both Evans twins were sitting in one of the house's living rooms, each with their own pint of Ben and Jerry's. _What Not to Wear _was on in the background, and Ryan and Sharpay, who were better friends than most people realized, were doing some catching up.

Sharpay snorted. "Not the kind of sex _you _have."

"Oh, so you assume I've had sex? Did you even hear my question? I obviously wouldn't ask if I had."

"You and Chad haven't?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Are you lying?"

He shook his head again.

"Well. Wow. That's a surprise."

"It's just a big thing, you know?" said Ryan. "And I was wondering if you had any ... experience, I guess."

"No, Ryan, your dear sister is still a virgin," Sharpay said. "And it's through no fault of my own. Zeke wants to wait till we're—" She stopped and took a huge bite of Phish Food.

"Until you're what? And don't give me that 'Ice cream headache, can't chat anymore' bullshit."

Sharpay swallowed and sighed. "OK. Fine. You caught me. Zeke wants to wait till we're engaged. Which we will be, eventually, when he fingers out how to bake a ring into crème brulee without ruining the taste."

"Why would you want to eat a ring?"

Sharpay swatted Ryan with a nearby issue of _Vogue_.

"Well, congratulations, sis."

"And congratulations to you, for being mature enough to think about sex before having it." Sharpay tipped her spoon to Ryan.

"If I were standing up, I'd bow. Or curtsy. These pants are big enough."

"Yeah, they are. Too big, even. Have you lost weight?"

"It's the college kid diet, Shar," Ryan said. "I live on lettuce leaves and moderately priced cocktails."

"You still have your chest muscles, right? Gay guys love that kind of thing."

"We do?"

"Oh, I'm sure you've always liked Chad for his mind."

"I see your point. He's a lot smarter than he was in high school, though."

"I guess I'll believe you," said Sharpay. "And he can keep up with an Evans family discussion of musical theatre. That has to count for something."

"He's the one, Shar."

"I know." Sharpay winked and took another scoop.

"So, Zeke doesn't care if you get fat, then?"

She shrugged. "No. He thinks I'm perfect. It's a prerequisite for any relationship I'm in. Besides, I'm doing yoga later."

"You know that doesn't keep any weight off unless you do bikram, right?"

"You know how gay you sound, right?"

Ryan sighed. "Always."

"It's fine," Sharpay reassured him. "Chad seems to like it."

"Did you ever think about the fact that we're both in healthy, happy relationships? And neither of us had to do anything nefarious to get into said relationships?"

Sharpay groaned. "Don't remind me. We're going soft, Ryan."

"Maybe it's not such a bad place to be."

"I won't tell if you won't."


	3. Amateur Hour and The Afternoon

Chad's birthday fell between Christmas and New Year's, and the East High group decided to commemorate the occasion with a trip to the karaoke bar. The Cross and The Crown was all but deserted when they arrived on a surprisingly chilly Wednesday night, and whenever a potential patron came in after them, they turned back around, seemingly turned off by the boisterous college students dominating the karaoke machine with 80s standbys and early 2000s pop songs. But it didn't seem to bother the bartender, whose tips got more and more generous as the kids got more and more inebriated.

"Good God, I love your voice," said Chad as Ryan sat back down at the table after trying out Toto's "Africa." It was the first time he'd done it, but he imagined it wouldn't be the last.

"Thanks, babe," Ryan said, kissing him on the cheek. Chad was always much more willing to show affection in public when he was drunk — which he was. Quite, actually. But that didn't get to Ryan. It was his birthday, might as well get a little crazy.

"You should just keep going." Chad gestured at the stage, where Troy and Gabriella were singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." He grimaced. "This is just kind of awful."

Kelsi Nielsen, who was also home from New York for a couple weeks, nodded. "That, or get your sister up there. I hear she does a great Madonna."

"Like you wouldn't believe," said Ryan. "But I think she's a little, hm, distracted."

The three of them turned to look at Zeke and Sharpay, who had been making out in a darkened corner of the bar for about an hour.

"Don't they get bored?" Kelsi asked.

"Never. Not when it's all they do."

The trio laughed, and Chad and Ryan whooped and hollered as Kelsi took the mike, delivering a heartfelt rendition of "Nobody Does it Better." Apparently, Sharpay thought she could, taking the stage to rock "Material Girl."

"This is a really good night," Chad commented to Ryan.

"It is. I'm really glad I came home for so long."

"So am I." Chad cleared his throat and dropped his voice to add, "I was thinking about what we talked about."

"Yeah?" Ryan lowered his voice, too.

"Saturday?"

Ryan cocked his head to one side and thought. He didn't have anything planned for the day, other than kissing his boyfriend as much as possible before he left on Sunday. "Yeah. I like that. End this trip right."

Chad grinned widely. "Awesome. Want to go practice at Casa la Evans?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Ryan. "And remember, you're staying over so you can eat lunch with us tomorrow. So is Zeke."

"Great. Any musicals we should brush up on?"

Ryan laughed. "I think we're set for life on that, Chad."

The practice didn't last too long, as both boys were close to exhausted. They both made it out of bed for lunch, though narrowly, and high fived when they saw they'd arrived before Zeke. Sharpay rolled her eyes.

"I love that look your mom gives us when we come upstairs together," Chad said to Ryan under his breath. "Especially with wet hair."

"Yeah, like she knows exactly what's going on. And she totally does."

"And she's cool with it. Why can't my dad be like that?"

Ryan sighed. "Someday, maybe." Though Chad's father was kinder to Ryan than he had been initially, he still remained unconvinced that his red-blooded, all-American son was gay. But Ryan did believe they'd get there eventually.

"Morning, sleepyheads," Ryan's mom said to the two of them.

"Morning, Mom," Ryan said, kissing his mom on the cheek. Chad did the same, and she giggled like a little girl. Sharpay rolled her eyes again, but she was smiling this time.

"Chad, my boy, how's it going?" said Ryan's dad. Ryan still had trouble not laughing every time his father used that particular term of endearment, especially when it was accompanied with a hearty pat on the back. But Chad always seemed thrilled at how much Ryan's parents liked him. Ryan was pretty pleased with that, too, now that he thought about it. The boys he'd taken home in the past had gotten a reception that registered slightly above chilly. Ryan suspected it was because they were much less masculine than Chad, the only guy's guy he'd ever dated. Ryan preferred to be the more ... sensitive one in any relationship, but he hadn't had that privilege till now, so he was even happier about it than his parents. Of course he was happier about it. Chad was his, and he loved him.

Ryan took Chad's hand briefly and tapped L-O-V-E in Morse code on the other boy's palm. It was a kind of code, something to do when they wanted to publicly display affection but felt it would be inappropriate. Chad grinned at him, and they sat down to eat.

The meal was taken up mostly by conversation about Zeke's upcoming semester in France. He was in culinary school, and some time spent studying abroad was required. Sharpay seemed conflicted about her usually clingy boyfriend being absent for four months. Ryan knew she was thrilled for him, but apprehensive about this long a separation. He imagined that in her situation, he'd feel similarly, but he couldn't find much sympathy for his sister, considering how often he didn't see his own boyfriend. And Shar shouldn't complain anyway. She could've had Zeke far earlier than she did, freshman year, even, while Ryan didn't have a chance at Chad till the very end of high school. He looked at Chad then, patiently listening to Zeke detail his final project last semester, and really, really wished he could kiss him, right then. But he'd save it for a couple days. Or a couple hours, at least.

"Your cook is amazing," Chad marveled after lunch. It was something of a tradition for the two of them to spend a bit of time in the tree house whenever they were both at home for a break, and that was just what they were doing with some cocktails courtesy of Ryan's father.

"I ... I don't really want to talk about Lupita right now, Chad," said Ryan.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm glad you're already lying down." Ryan climbed on top of Chad, smiling. Chad looked surprised, but he smiled back, and Ryan could feel Chad as his own pants tightened. "So, I know we said Saturday, but..."


	4. Closer

"Na-na-now?"

Chad didn't get nervous very often. Ryan knew that. So to see him stammering, and even a little sweaty, was a bit disarming. Ryan didn't mind having his boyfriend pinned down to the floor, but he felt that such a strong reaction warranted some concern. So he rolled off Chad and lay next to him, propping himself up on his elbow to look at his face. He ran a hand along Chad's cheek. Chad visibly relaxed.

"I don't know. I just thought ... Well, we're both so happy," Ryan said lamely. "And I thought maybe we could just try it now. I mean, we're both ready, so why not go for it?"

"Because we had a plan," Chad reminded him. "Saturday. Just the two of us, the whole day. Besides, don't we need ... I don't know. What do we need?"

"You know I've never done it before, Chad."

"Well, you've at least kissed guys who've had sex. And more." Chad was still a bit jealous that Ryan had been to second base with someone else before him. Sometimes, when he'd express that, Ryan would gently remind him that he'd had some non-arousing fun with Taylor, too, and that'd shut Chad right up. But now didn't seem like the time.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I have any idea what I'm doing." Ryan laughed softly and kissed Chad on the cheek. "Did you want to buy a book or something?"

Chad laughed, too. "Yeah, that would look normal."

"We wouldn't have to go together."

"Yeah, but either you or I would still be buying a book about gay sex." Chad's brow furrowed. "It would have to be you, actually. I still don't look gay at all."

"Or you could say you were buying it for a friend," suggested Ryan.

"Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. You know, this is the kind of thing the Internet is for."

"I'll see if the Wi Fi stretches out this far."

As it turned out, it did, so Ryan brought his MacBook back to the tree house for research purposes. Neither Ryan nor Chad was particularly fond of porn. They had much more fun with each other's bodies than watching someone else's. Still, they both knew their way around a search engine, and soon enough, they'd generated enough information that they had a pretty clear idea of what they were getting themselves into — or, rather, who Chad was getting into.

"It won't make you feel emasculated or anything, will it?" Chad looked concerned, which, coupled with his question, Ryan loved.

"I think we both know who the girl is here, Chad," said Ryan, smiling a little.

Chad smiled uncertainly. "I guess, yeah. But I'm open to, you know, other options."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"God, I love you."

"I love you, too. Though I'm not sure what that was for."

Chad kissed Ryan and said, "Being you, mostly. Being ready for this. Being so damn cute in that stupid hat."

"It's not stupid, is it?" Ryan put his hands to his head, upon which rested a plain forest green newsboy. "I thought it was pretty conservative, considering some of them."

"Hey, I said you looked cute."

"Well, alright. And thanks for being you, too." Ryan kissed Chad that time, and for a time, that was unending, until Sharpay called up to the tree house, telling them it was time to go to the movies. The drive-in was showing _Singin' in the Rain_, and Ryan would be hard pressed to miss that. Chad, he knew, had no reluctance about going; though he might not be a Gene Kelly fanatic like Ryan, Ryan was well aware of Chad's love for that particular piece of musical history.

"Where does the time go?" Chad asked, lacing his fingers with Ryan's as they walked to Zeke's rusty pickup, by no means the nicest car among the group's, but certainly the most conducive to a drive-in movie.

"You sound like an old man." Ryan kissed him on the cheek. Sharpay rolled her eyes.

"Enough making out. We don't want our view of Gene and Donald obstructed, now, do we?" she said.

"The girl makes a good point," said Ryan.

"Onward and upward, then," Chad said, jumping over and into the truck bed.

"Oh, you think you're so impressive?" Ryan imitated Chad's actions. "Remember, some game."

"I know, Mr. Little League," said Chad, putting his arm around Ryan as they braced for the bumpy ride.

As they had the capacity to ignore Sharpay and Zeke making out in the truck cab, Ryan and Chad enjoyed the movie as much as they ever had. Ryan couldn't stop having those "Can't believe how lucky I am" moments whenever Chad laughed or sang along. Wasn't he supposed to be over the butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms and clammy hands, flutters of nervousness in his chest part by now?

_No_, he thought as he and Chad kissed goodnight hours later. _No, I'm really not_.


	5. Feeling

"Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear..."

"Tell me!" Chad shouted, jumping to his feet, and Ryan joined him. "Where do we go from here?"

"I love this show so much," said Ryan, sitting back down on his bed and patting the spot next to him. It was Saturday or, as Ryan had taken to thinking of it, The Day. The rest of the Evans family had gone to Santa Fe for some bad dinner theatre performance, and Chad had been with Ryan since they'd left. Nothing in the way of The Thing, as Ryan thought of it, had happened yet, just kissing and eating and _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. And that was fine with Ryan, though he could feel himself getting antsy as Chad sat down next to him and started nibbling at his neck.

"Hey," Ryan said softly, turning his head to get a kiss. But instead, Chad moved downward to Ryan's collarbone. Ryan shivered and Chad looked at him. He wasn't singing or even smiling anymore. He was ... smoldering, or something like it.

"Think we could do something about that shirt?"

Ryan nodded, finding himself mute for once. He pulled his shirt over his head and didn't even fold it before throwing it on the floor, as he normally would. "Yours?" he managed. Chad nodded and took off his own. He put his hands on Ryan's bare shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him, though he probably didn't need to, considering how close the two of them already were.

"Chad?"

"Yeah?"

"There's lube in the top drawer of the nightstand behind you."

Without taking one hand off Ryan, Chad reached past him, and Ryan thanked God for Chad's dexterity as he retrieved the unopened bottle and dropped it next to them on the bed. Together, they leaned back, kissing, licking, biting, nipping, breathing heavily, exchanging lust-fueled words of love all the way along.

"I've wanted this for so long," said Chad, hands on either side of Ryan's waist, quickly traveling to his fly. "And thanks for not wearing button fly pants today."

Ryan grinned. "That was for your benefit."

The sight of Chad naked was one Ryan didn't think he could ever really get over. There was something about wanting to see the boy's body for so long that seeing it hadn't even felt real the first few times. Now, he just drank it in, thinking to himself, over and over, _That's mine. All of that, all of this is mine_.

"I swear you get hotter overnight," said Chad, who seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Well, I'm pretty hot right now," Ryan admitted, inching ever closer to Chad, proving his point in a tangible way.

"Hot enough for..."

Ryan found himself speechless again. He nodded. One more kiss, and Chad was reaching for the bottle and Ryan was rolling on to his stomach, and when he felt it all he could say was "Ah."

A few of the most shocking, blissful moments of Ryan's life later, he heard his boyfriend—lover? Yes, that would roll off the tongue nicely—sigh deeply. Chad wasn't much for sighing, but it was such a contented sound that Ryan couldn't help smiling and rolling over. It took all his energy just to kiss Chad on the cheek. Chad smiled.

"Ready to do nothing for a couple hours?" he asked.

"Obviously," said Ryan. "Chad, that was ... amazing."

"Yeah."

"Like, incredible."

"Uh huh."

"Just the way..."

"I know." Chad kissed him. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Don't worry about that, Chad. It was perfect. Wonderful. Best ... however many minutes of my life. I love you, Chad. I love you so much."

They kissed again. "I love you, too. But why are you saying my name so much?"

Ryan laughed a little. "I don't know. It's just all I'm thinking, over and over, how great it sounds. You, your name, our names together. Try it. Isn't it nice?"

"Chad and Ryan." Chad nodded and smiled. "Yeah. That is nice. Good ring to it."

"Chad?"

"Ryan?"

"You didn't want to do it again, did you?"

Chad snorted. "Are you kidding? Dude, I'm exhausted. You'll be lucky if I'll do you again in February."

"There he is." Ryan kissed Chad on the cheek. "There's the guy I've been in love with since 7th grade."

"Hey, I may not have loved you as long, but I'm pretty sure I love you as much."

"I'm pretty sure you do."

"You know what I do want to do again, right?"

Ryan sighed. "You sure you don't want to move on to the next episode?"

"You know I like it when they do that retro pastiche ... shit," said Chad, sounding defensive.

Ryan laughed and turned on the TV.

**A/N: Much thanks to Joss Whedon for **_**Buffy the Vampire Slayer's **_**season six episode "Once More, With Feeling." And much thanks to you, for reading this.**


End file.
